Firestar Goes Power Crazy
by Sir Wilda Skye
Summary: After experiencing an unrelated dream, Firestar starts abusing his power, making ThunderClan unhappy. Rate and review and all that. Rated T for minor sexual themes in chapter 7.
1. Firestar Snaps

**Okay, I was wrong. I am ****_not _****going to make a story about Sorrelkit being a cannibal, I'm making a story about Firestar going mouse-dung! R&R and all that. Bye!**

* * *

"Cannibal! Cannibal!" the clan chanted. Sorrelkit's ears dropped. What was she to do?! Firestar emerged from the crowd, having awoken from his nap. "Sorrelkit, I'm sorry, but cannibalism is just to much for this clan. You are exiled!"

The words chilled Sorrelkit. Exiled? But she was only a kit!

Willowpelt suddenly came running in. "But you can't exile a kit! ESPECIALLY MY KIT!" she yowled, frantically.

Firestar spoke without missing a beat. "Okay, then you're exiled too."

Murmurs of disapproval came from the clan.

"You.. you must be joking!" Willowpelt panted.

"No, I DON'T CAAAAAAAAAAAAAARE!"

"Mommy!" Sootkit and Rainkit panted. "Firestar, please don't exile Mom!" Sootkit begged.

"I DON'T CAAAAAAAAARE!" Firestar asked.

"We want her back!" Sootkit yelled.

"I STILL DON'T CAAAAAAAAARE! You're both exiled now!" Firestar said.

"NUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU UUUUUUUUUUUUU!" Willowpelt and the kits yelled.

Brambleclaw said, "Firestar, you're getting out of contr-"

"YOU'RE EXILED TOO!" Firestar screamed.

Firestar saw Rowanclaw walking by on a patrol. "YOU'RE EXILED TOO!"

"But I'm not even in ThunderClan!" Rowanclaw protested.

"I DON'T CAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA AARE!" Firestar said. "Scram!"

"I'm gonna tell on you!" Rowanclaw yelled. He then ran off, crying.

"Now," Firestar said. "I am Firestar, hear me roar!" He then let out a pathetic mew, to which Yellowfang snickered at. "YOU ARE EXILED TOO!" Firestar proclaimed.

"Firestar, you realize you are exiling your deputy and medicine cat, a queen and her kits, and a warrior that's not even from your clan, right?" Yellowfang reminded him.

"Guess what I'm gonna say?" Firestar said.

"What?" Yellowfang asked.

"I DON'T CAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAARE!"


	2. duckface chapter

**Second chapter, and people have praised me! Follow in their pawsteps, everyone! FOLLOW!**

**rainbw ~ This is HILARIOUS. Please make more!**

**Snowsong of SnowClan ~ O.O Firestar's gone CRAZY! This is awesomeness, LOL! UPDATE SOOON! :D -Snowsong-**

* * *

"GO!" Firestar boomed. Brambleclaw, Willowpelt, Yellowfang, and Willowpelt's kits all left. Longtail murmured something to a random cat.

"What did you say?!" Firestar yelled to Longtail.

Longtail remained silent.

"WHAT DID YOU SAY TO HIM?!" Firestar yelled again.

"..."

"AW DARK FOREST NAW!" Firestar yelled. "EXILED!"

"Aw come on, you exile him for murmuring to another cat?!" Birchfall exclaimed with disbelief.

"Both of you, EXILED!"

They both walked away, after the others exiled. Firestar said, "Now, carve an image of me in stone!"

"But we don't have fingers _or_ picks." Lionblaze reminded Firestar.

"I DON'T CARE IF YOU DON'T HAVE FINGERS! MAKE ME POTTERY!"

"But we don't have clay."

"THEN MAKE ME ART!"

"But we don't have paint."

"THEN GET ME PREY WHILE I SIT LAZILY IN MY DEN!"

"Aren't we all supposed to get prey?"

"Yes, but I DON'T CAAAAAARE!"

"You are just not a caring person today, are you?"

"In more ways than one," Sandstorm grumbled.

"You are both exiled now!" Firestar said. "Go!"

"B-b-but I'm your mate!" Sandstorm stuttered.

"No you're not, you're exiled." Firestar said calmly.

"And I'm your previous apprentice's son!" Lionblaze protested.

No you're not, you're exiled." Firestar said.

"I'm your grand-niece's mate's brother's mentor's mother's meal's niece's grandson!" a random squirrel shouted from the trees.

"No you're not, you're a squirrel." Firestar said. He then jumped up and killed it swiftly and popped it into his mouth, bones and all. Thornclaw shuddered. "EXILED!" Firestar yelled. Thornclaw walked away, frowning. Lionblaze and Sandstorm were still standing where they were. "YOU TWO ARE EXILED, REMEMBER?" he yelled.

Lionblaze walked away with shame. Sandstorm started walking, looked back dramatically, then continued on walking.

"Now, if you want to live, you shall dig me a giant hole!" Firestar proclaimed.

"Why?" Mousefur asked.

"EXILED FOR QUESTIONING ME! JUST DIG THE HOLE!"

Mousefur walked away, while the rest of the clan stood there. Firestar swooped Dovekit up in his jaws. "DIG THE HOLE OR THE KIT GETS IT!" he yowled threateningly. Birchfall tried to attack Firestar, but he put his paw up against Dovekit's neck and unsheathed his claws.

"YOU WOULDN'T!" Birchfall said.

Firestar made a duckface and said, "Would I? I don't care, remember?"

Birchfall looked at Firestar with a defeated expression. Firestar flicked his tail over to a patch of ground. "Dig. The. Hole."

The clan walked over and started digging reluctantly, muttering things like "You're mouse-dung" and "Derp" and "I just don't know what went wrong". One thing was for sure, though, the mouse-dung, weak-mewing Firestar was in charge. And nocat could stop him.


	3. Can you sit on a kit?

**I cannot express how happy I am in text form, so I shall simply do my best to keep my cool and type like a normal person. Praise for chapter 2!**

Snowsong of SnowClan~ O.O SOMEONEZ GOTTA STOP HIM! DONT LET HIM EAT DOVEKIT! XD i love this

Silenthunder~ Oh my word! So funny! I can hardly keep myself from laughing! I wonder if he'll go to Dark Forest for this, and the others there can manipulate him to destroy the Clans? Maybe hypnotize him or something?

* * *

Firestar sat lazily on the highrock, holding Dovekit in his scruff. He stared down at the digging cats disapprovingly. He put Dovekit down. "Sit." he commanded.

"I'm a kit, not a Twoleg's dog." Dovekit argued.

"Then _I _shall sit." Firestaraffirmed. He then proceeded to sit on Dovekit's tail.

"AGH! GET OFF OF ME, YOU CRAZED, BLOODLESS MANIAC! YOU'RE GOING TO GO TO THE PLACE OF NO STARS FOR THIS!" Dovekit squealed.

"I'm _going _to. But for now, I can sit on your tail on all I want. And I won't get in trouble for it. Maybe enslaving my entire clan, but probably not for sitting on your tail." Firestar explained.

Dovekit looked at Firestar questioningly. "You won't?"

Firestar tapped his paw on the rock. "Bluestar?!" he called.

Bluestar appeared. "Yeah?"

"Is sitting on a kit that's not yours against the warrior code?"

"I'm sorry, I can't answer that. Enslaving your entire clan sort of teed off StarClan." Bluestar said sarcastically.

"Oh... well that sucks."

"...Yeah."

"Okay, bye."

Bluestar disappeared in a cloud of blue smoke. "Okay, I can ask another cat." He tapped his paw on the highrock three times. "Tigerstar!"

Tigerstar appeared in a cloud of black smoke, bright pink curlers in his fur. "Ugh, what is it? It's like, 3 in the morning." he grumbled.

"Is it against the warrior code to sit on a kit?"

"I'm sorry, I can't answer that, I hate you." Tigerstar mumbled. "Now let me get my beauty sleep. I need it." He then disappeared in another cloud of black smoke.

"Well, that was helpful." Dovekit said, rolling her eyes.

"But I have one more person to ask." Firestar clicked his heels and clapped twice. And then, Sir Wildcry appeared, typing away at her computer.

"Sir, is it against the warrior code to sit on a kit?"

"Uh, no, it isn't."

Firestar looked at Dovekit with a mischievous smirk, and she responded with a frown. "Alright, now you kits have fun, I'm going to continue typng your existence, if you don't mind." Sir said. She disappeared in a cloud of steam and fairy dust.

"See, I'm not going to get in trouble for sitting on you." Firestar mocked. Dovekit groaned. Firestar again looked down at the cats digging below him, again disapprovingly. "DIG FASTER!" he commanded. A collective groan came from the cats below as they dug minimally faster. Firestar sighed to himself and smiled. "It's good to be a tyrant." he said, satisfied.


	4. PIE

**Hey, guys! Sorry I haven't been on in two months *sniff*, but I have brought you another chapter of the long-forgotten Firestar Goes Power-Crazy. Enjoy.**

* * *

Firestar surveyed the digging cats below and yawned. His yawn turned to panic. "THERE'S NOTHING HAPPENING IN THE PLOT!" Firestar screeched.

"WE DON'T CARE!" the clan yelled back.

"WELL I ORDER YOU TO CARE OR THE KIT GETS IT!" Firestar yowled.

"I don't care anymore!" a weary voice called. From the crowd, Icepaw stepped through, her white pelt stained and matted with dirt. She looked up at Firestar with her pleading, ice blue eyes. "I don't care if the kit dies! I just wanna go to my nest and SLEEP!" she panted.

"Okay, then." Firestar unsheathed his claws and put them against Dovekit's neck. He only pricked her neck before he thought of a better fate for the shivering Dovekit. He took Dovekit in his jaws and bounded down to his den. He grabbed a strange silver object, a big black object, and a smaller black vine-thing. He dragged them to the front of the Highrock and put the black vine thing inside a hole in the big black thing and the silver thing. Then she grabbed some vines and tied Dovekit to the black thing. Pressing some buttons on the silver thing, a noise emitted from the giant black object. It was Firestar, SINGING. He slyly put on a santa hat.

"OOOOOOOH!"

The clan howled. They were in for torture, especially Dovekit.

*to the tune of jingle bells, sing along if you please*

**"DOUBLE RAIN, DOUBLE RAIN, RAINBOW CROSS THE SKYYYYYY! *gyahh!***

**UNICORNS AND PRETTY THINGS, myeah myeah myeah myeah myeah YEAH!**

**BATMAN N' STUFF, myeah myeah myeah, YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAH!**

**I AM HYPED UP ON SODA AND myeah myeah I DON'T CAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAARE!"**

The cats howled and complained in the hole. Firestar grinned evilly and only turned the volume louder.

**"TIGERSTAR'S A DUNGHEAD, AND I AM AWESOMENESS,**

**BLUESTAR IS A POOPYBRAIN, AND I AM AWESOME!**

**THUNDERCLAN ARE WEAKLINGS, EXCEPT FOR ME CAUSE I'M AWESOME!**

**I SHALL RENAME IT TO PAPERCLAN, CAUSE THIS CLAN IS FLAT myeah myeah!"**

The clan cats couldn't take it anymore. Jaded cats crawled desperately out of the hole and stalked over to Firestar. This had to end. And it had to end now. They jumped onto him and Icepaw walked up to him. Icepaw took a deep breath and calmly said,

"3.1415926535897932384626433832 7950288419716939937510  
5820974944592307816406286208 9986280348253421170679  
8214808651328230664709384460 9550582231725359408128  
4811174502841027019385211055 5964462294895493038196  
4428810975665933446128475648 2337867831652712019091  
4564856692346034861045432664 8213393607260249141273  
7245870066063155881748815209 2096282925409171536436  
7892590360011330530548820466 5213841469519415116094  
3305727036575959195309218611 7381932611793105118548  
0744623799627495673518857527 2489122793818301194912  
9833673362440656643086021394 9463952247371907021798  
6094370277053921717629317675 2384674818467669405132  
0005681271452635608277857713 4275778960917363717872  
1468440901224953430146549585 3710507922796892589235  
4201995611212902196086403441 8159813629774771309960  
5187072113499999983729780499 5105973173281609631859  
5024459455346908302642522308 2533446850352619311881  
7101000313783875288658753320 8381420617177669147303  
5982534904287554687311595628 6388235378759375195778  
1857780532171226806613001927 8766111959092164201989."

Firestar laughed evilly. "MUAHAHAHA! That does not work on me, because I am awesomer than you!"

Icepaw said, "You mean you don't know Pi?"

Firestar smirked and said, "You mean 3.141592653589793238462643383

7950288419716939937510582097 4944592307816406286208 9986280348253421170679

8214808651328230664709384460 9550582231725359408128  
4811174502841027019385211055 5964462294895493038196  
4428810975665933446128475648 2337867831652712019091  
4564856692346034861045432664 8213393607260249141273  
7245870066063155881748815209 2096282925409171536436  
7892590360011330530548820466 5213841469519415116094  
3305727036575959195309218611 7381932611793105118548  
0744623799627495673518857527 2489122793818301194912  
9833673362440656643086021394 9463952247371907021798  
6094370277053921717629317675 2384674818467669405132  
0005681271452635608277857713 4275778960917363717872  
1468440901224953430146549585 3710507922796892589235  
4201995611212902196086403441 8159813629774771309960  
5187072113499999983729780499 5105973173281609631859  
5024459455346908302642522308 2533446850352619311881  
7101000313783875288658753320 8381420617177669147303  
5982534904287554687311595628 6388235378759375195778  
1857780532171226806613001927 8766111959092164201989?"

Icepaw groaned and collapsed to the ground.

"NUUUUUUU!" Whitewing yowled, bawling her eyes out. "DEATH BY PIIEEEEEEEEEEE!"

"MuahahahaaAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAC K*coughcoughcoughcough*" Firestar laughed malevolently.


	5. A Moment of Hope and Seriousness

Meanwhile, in the POV of the exiled cats...

Sootkit, Rainkit, Sorrelkit, Willowpelt, Yellowfang, Brambleclaw, Rowanclaw, Longtail, *pant pant* Birchfall, Thornclaw, Lionblaze, Sandstorm, Mousefur, and the spirit of a dead Icepaw all sat in a burrow.

"KILL HIM!" Yellowfang yowled. "Shred him to bits and call him a useless sh-"

"Yellowfang!" Willowpelt chastised. "Not in front of the kits!"

"...shrub." Yellowfang finished, realizing that she was getting barbaric. "Does everyone agree that we should kill Firestar?"

Ragged cats looked back at Yellowfang and yowled in agreement.

"Then it's settled." Yellowfang said. "We shall form into a new clan. We have, what, like 15 cats here?"

The other cats nodded.

"Now what do we name the clan?"

"OOH! OOH! MEEEE!" Sorrelkit said.

"What?"

"TotallynotacannibalClan!"

"No."

Cats started to shout out random answers.

"AwesomeClan?"

"No."

"PoptartClan?"

"No."

"SteveClan?"

"What's a steve?"

"FirestarClan?"

"That's the guy we're fighting against!"

"PantherClan?"

"NO FREAKI- oh, wait, that's actually a pretty good idea. I shall be the leader, and you shall refer to me as Yellowstar for now. Brambleclaw shall be my deputy, and Lionblaze shall me my medicine cat."

The cats murmured in agreement, and Brambleclaw and Lionblaze padded up to either side of Yellowstar. "Now, my clanmates," Yellowstar said with a smile. "We shall rebel! We shall fight! We shall take back what is ours! This is our revolution!"

"REVOLUTION! REVOLUTION!" the cats cheered. They cheered not because of Yellowstar's inspiring and dramatic speech, but because they knew that they had a small sliver of hope - even if it was just a small sliver - of saving the clans.


	6. Mt Firestar

Firestar sat lazily on the high rock, eating a mouse. He was grotesquely fat at this point, so corpulent and rotund that he had been referred to as "Mt. Firestar", and all of ThunderClan who hadn't died a horrible, torturous death was frighteningly skinny, and overworking themselves for fear of being tortured even more by Firestar's ghastly singing. Firestar's deputy was now Dovewing, who was basically the only cat he cared about. Jayfeather was now medicine cat, but he was just as skinny as all the other cats. Firestar's commanding voice roared throughout the forest. His fat folds flapped up and down as he shook with fury.

"WHY DO I NOT HAVE A TACO?!" he blustered.

A broken Cherrypaw padded up under the behemoth of a Firestar. She had pleading amber eyes that sparkled in the dim light of the ThunderClan camp. "You did not ask for one, oh supreme leader," she squeaked with a shaky voice, starting to cry. "And I have no idea what a taco is."

"DRAG HER AWAY!" he adjured stymiedly.

No matter how much Cherrypaw pleaded and squealed, and no matter how much her mother, Poppyfrost, and her father, Berrynose, cried and begged, Dovewing was forced to take helpless little Cherrypaw by the scruff and drag her over to the big black block, now called the "Highwind", and let it do it's thing. There was once a time where Dovewing actually felt pity for dragging thin, weak cats to their doom, and one time she even refused, but did it an hour later. Unfortunately, over the days, Dovewing's soul grew darker, and she slowly began to relish in the act where she had once repudiated it, grinning incorrigbly where she had once whimpered pitifully with the cats she dragged away. Dovewing, deputy of ThunderClan, was once a kind, gentle soul, but now she was just another feline doomed to the Place of No Stars.

Dovewing quickly dashed Cherrypaw over to her fate. She cinched her to the ebony brick and leaned her head into the ginger apprentice's ear. "Goodbye..." she whispered rebarbatively. She pulled her ashen muzzle away from Cherrypaw's ear and strutted away flashing a insidious grin as the light orange cat struggled and mewed pitifully against the black vines that held her back.

"Before we start this ceremony of sacrifice," Firestar began. "WHOEVER IS WRITING THIS, WILL YOU STOP WITH THE FREAKIN' DICTIONARY TALK?!"

Clouds parted and a voice thundered down from the dark sky. "Okay, fine, jeez," it said.

"Thank you!" Firestar said, irritated. "Now let's get this show on the road!"

Dovewing wrestled a CD from one of Firestar's many fat folds, and stuck it into a silver machine. A wailing cry came out of the block to the tune of ABC, sing along if you'd like.

**A, B, C, D, E, F, G**

**THIS IS A HORRIBLE CD!**

**I AM CRYING, NO, J, K**

**Q, G, T, H, G, J, Zed**

**NOW I KNOW THIS IS REALLY FUN!**

**MYEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!**

After convulsing for a bit, Cherrypaw lied limp in her bounds. Dovewing undid the cords, and a presumably dead Cherrypaw fell to the ground with a thump, a horrifying expression on her poor muzzle.

"May Cherrypaw rest in peace." Firestar said, a somber expression on his face. Dovewing looked at him confusedly. But just as the clan started to think that Firestar had the slightest bit of StarClan's power still in him, he and Dovewing both threw their heads up in laughter.

"That was a good one, Firestar!" Dovewing guffawed.

"I know!" he laughed back.

ThunderClan looked at them with utter horror and stepped back. Dovewing stopped laughing and turned her head towards them, a mischievous grin on her face. "Did you think we actually had a little inkling of StarClan in us?" she scoffed. "That's idiotic. Don't ever think that again." A couple cats whimpered. "Now get back to work! And one of you get Firestar a taco!"

A kit stood, quaking in fear. Firestar slammed his massive paw onto the ground, creating a force that flipped it over. "GET ME A TACO!" he roared. The kit ran away in the direction of Twolegplace, squealing. "We are a devious couple, aren't we, Dovewing?" he said, slyly. "We sure are, Firestar." she said back.

* * *

Meanwhile, PantherClan was training. Yellowstar strutted around, telling orders to the cats training. "Wonderful, Sandstorm! Keep thinking Birchfall is Firestar!" "Just gotta jump a little higher, Sootpaw! You can do it!" "I don't care if your eye hurts, Mousefur, be strong!" She looked upon her clan with pride. Yeah, they needed some work, but she knew that they would shape up into a fine makeshift clan.

* * *

**So, yeah. This chapter was a little sad, but life isn't all sunshine and rainbows, is it? Rate and review. **


	7. DovewingXBrambleclaw

**This chapter is the one that gives FGPC a T rating. The rest is fine, though this one may have some sexual content and is not advised for kits under the age of 13. Just in time for Valentine's Day!**

* * *

*Time Skip*

PantherClan had trained for 1 day, maybe 2, with some bathroom breaks and sleeping in between, and now they were ready. At least they thought they were. Or maybe they weren't. But who cared?! They were fighting an old, fat, power-hungry freakin' couch potato and his great-great-great niece! That's easy as swallowing a freakin' minnow! But anyway, they were pretty sure they were ready. Not positive, but the cats were getting impatient, so they were just going to wing it and if they all died, they freakin' died. So let's go.

The cats of PantherClan started making their journey back to their previous home of ThunderClan. Yellowstar looked over to see that Brambleclaw was carrying a basket containing a yellow, scaly oval thing.

"What are you doing with that basket?" she asked, confused.

"You'll see," Brambleclaw said mysteriously, grinning.

They finally reached the brambles guarding the ThunderClan camp. They all crouched and Brambleclaw held the basket on his tail. It was all going to begin now. They were going to jump and punish Firestar and Dovewing. They were going to do it pretty soon... pretty soon... any day now... waiting... and finally they did it. Apparently Dovewing saw them and _they_ were the ones punished. _Harshly. _They all knew now that they probably should have trained more, maybe a moon or two, but it was probably too late for that now. Dovewing easily broke Brambleclaw, clawed Rowanclaw and Thornclaw, and stormed Sandstorm. She withered Willowpelt, made Yellowfang starry-eyed and made Birchfall, well, fall. Heck, she ripped the apprentices to shreds, even the dead one! And that isn't even scientifically possible! DOVEWING WAS DEFYING THE LAWS OF PHYSICS! THEY WERE ALL DOOMED!

As PantherClan was about to perish, Brambleclaw and Dovewing both remembered something. The ovaloid object that he brought in the basket, remember? The freakin' lemon. Brambleclaw and Dovewing both rushed to the basket containing the yellow fruit in a race against time, against good and evil. Why was a lemon so important? Because it would cause a strange situation. Dovewing was about to get to the lemon, but then Brambleclaw tackled her. They wrestled and soon Brambleclaw was on top of Dovewing, looking down on her. Dovewing's eyes soon turned lustful, and an uncomfortable look formed on Brambleclaw's face. He tried to get off before things got strange, though Dovewing pinned him down. She licked her lips and smirked.

"Uh... what are you doing?" Brambleclaw said, his voice shaking. Dovewing simply chuckled mysteriously and collapsed onto him, nuzzling him and rubbing against him. Bramblelaw tried to get out from under Dovewing, but he simply could not as his diet wasn't very healthy and therefore wasn't very strong compared to the muscular Dovewing. "T-t-this is backwards," he stammered. Dovewing simply purred. Brambleclaw whimpered with fear. She rubbed her cheek against his and he shuddered. Dovewing intertwined their tails and purred again. Brambleclaw went cold. He had a mate! No matter how he struggled, he could not get out of the lewd Dovewing's grasp. Just as stuff started to get lemon-worthy, Dovewing remained still. Brambleclaw then heard snoring. Dovewing had fallen asleep on Brambleclaw. Brambleclaw looked at Dovewing with a look that said that he knew that the situation was awkward.

"Oh, Brambleclaw..." Dovewing muttered in her sleep. Brambleclaw blushed and smiled awkwardly. He wiggled, trying to get out from under her, but she wrapped her arms around his neck and moaned playfully, still asleep. Her claws dug into his neck, and he winced in pain, his eyes wide. He let out a small whimper as blood started to trickle from his wound. However, no one seemed to notice him, so they just left. So he knew he had to get out of this himself. He slowly attempted one time after the next to get out from under the silver she cat, but he failed. He started to notice that Dovewing's claws got deeper and deeper into his neck. But then suddenly things got really awkward. Dovewing started moaning. It got louder and louder as he looked around, searching for something that could help them. All of ThunderClan was nowhere to be found, except Firestar, who looked and smirked at him mockingly from his post. Brambleclaw made a pleading face to him, hoping that there still was some of StarClan's guidance left in him, but unfortunately there was not. Firestar simply stuck his tounge out playfully and kicked a rock towards Dovewing. It hit her square on the thigh, waking her up. Dovewing looked down to see Brambleclaw's scared face and smiled maliciously. "Ooh... my dreams have come true..." Dovewing moaned, looking into Brambleclaw's amber eyes. Then he realized something.

"Wait, aren't you mates with Bumblestripe?" he argued.

Dovewing's smile grew wider, showing her sharp, pearly teeth. Her icy blue eyes grew cold as she looked upon Brambleclaw, pushing down on him with her muscular legs. "I KILLED HIM!" she screeched. Brambleclaw tensed up. Dovewing _killed _her own mate?! But why?! Then again she was working with Firestar, so now that he thought about it wasn't too much of a shocker. But the words that Dovewing spoke next chilled him more. "YOU SHALL BE MY MATE NOW!" she yelled. Brambleclaw started hyperventilating.

"S-s-squirrelflight...?" he asked, only half wanting to know the answer.

"Also dead! Firestar did that one!" she laughed screechily. Brambleclaw looked into Dovewing's icy, demented eyes, fear and anxiety clouding his own. Dovewing returned back to an evil smirk and craned her head down to Brambleclaw's quivering ears. "Now... let's get to business, shall we?" she whispered.


	8. Short Chapter

**Okay, T rated stuff might be going on for a couple of chapters. I'll try to stop it soon and summarize it all in a surreptitious manner once it does stop, but I'm not making any promises.**

Brambleclaw shivered in fear. What did the malicious Dovewing have in store for him? Brambleclaw started to hyperventilate again, his chest moving up and down in erratic motions. His fur bristled and fear ran up and down his spine multiple times.

"Please..." Brambleclaw panted.

"Please... be my waifu?" Dovewing finished hopefully.

"N-n-n-n-n..." Brambleclaw stuttered. He was so frightened he couldn't speak.

"N-n-n-n-n...ever leave your side? That's gonna be easy." Dovewing said with a smile. Dovewing suddenly dug her claws into Brambleclaw's scruff and a wave of pain ran up his spine. Dovewing dragged him over to Firestar. All the while he whimpered and the wounds in his scruff got longer and longer, and so he left a trail of blood. Dovewing finally got to Firestar after what seemed like eons to the poor soul. He not only felt pain, but shame. A she-cat was beating him up! But it was about to get worse. Dovewing took a kittypet collar out of Firestar's fat folds and secured it onto Brambleclaw's neck. Then she got a long cord and secured it to the collar.

"Just to keep you from running away!" Dovewing chirped.

Brambleclaw groaned. Dovewing was treating him just like a kittypet! He tried to break free of the collar, but every time he tried he would just choke or claw himself in the throat.

"Now let's go, babe!" Dovewing said, putting a paw in the air. She yanked the string, and Brambleclaw had no choice but to go with her under penalty of choking. Slowly he padded along with her, their fur rubbing.

"Why?" Brambleclaw thought. "Why could I not have just stayed back with my glorious lemon? Why could I have not told Yellowstar that I was sick instead of going out there trying to be Mr. Macho Deputy? Why did I have to pass up cuddling with the oh-so-beautiful Squirrelflight for being pushed around by the oh-so-insane Dovewing? And most importantly, WHY DID I HAVE TO LOSE MAH LEMON?!" Out of rage, Brambleclaw tried to scratch Dovewing, but she yanked the collar, causing Brambleclaw to make a gagging noise and fail completely.

Dovewing dragged Brambleclaw to a clearing and tied the leash to a tree. Being sufficiently weakened, he could not run away. It made it all the more easy for Dovewing to climb on top of Brambleclaw and do what she had wanted to do ever since she paid eyes on him.

* * *

PantherClan finally got back to their territory. Yellowstar counted the cats in her head. Then the words she yowled next and the volume at which she yowled them shook the other cats to the core.

"TWELVE?! WHO'S MISSING?"

Lionblaze counted. "B-Brambleclaw!" he exclaimed.

"MAH DEPUTY?!" Yellowstar yowled wih disbelief. "We have to save him!"

"He's probably in the paws of Dovewing." Lionblaze said.

"I don't care!" Yellowstar said. "I'm gonna save my deputy!" She started walking, then turned back dramatically. "I'm gonna save my friend."


	9. Dovewing's Demise

Yellowstar padded through the forest. "Brambleclaw?!" she called. "Brambleclaw?! Bramble, baby, you anywhere here?!"

Brambleclaw heard Yellowstar. "Help!" he cried. Dovewing yanked Brambleclaw's collar, which knocked the wind out of him. She tugged him over to Yellowstar, and stood in front of her, a couple paw steps away.

"Well, if it isn't Yellowfang," Dovewing said maliciously, glaring at her.

"Dovewing." Yellowstar said.

"Crowfood." Dovewing muttered.

"Piece of dirt." Yellowstar muttered.

They glared at each other for a while, then Yellowstar sprang onto Dovewing, taking Brambleclaw's leg and pulling it. Dovewing took the collar in her jaws and was also pulling it. He winced with pain as he felt himself being pulled apart by the two she-cats, though he felt even more pain that he felt Dovewing gaining the upper paw, and that Yellowstar was slowly moving over to the other side. Just as all hope seemed to be lost, Sorrelpaw, Sootpaw, and Rainpaw all helped Yellowstar, slowly matching Dovewing's strength. Dovewing slowly lost the upper paw, to her amazement and horror, as more cats slowly poured in and came to Yellowstar's aid. Willowpelt, Rowanclaw, Sandstorm, Birchfall, even Lionblaze all ran out to help them. No matter how Dovewing pulled, Brambleclaw slowly moved away from her.

"N-no!" She stammered.

"Oh, yes!" Yellowstar yelled triumphantly. Then, in an act of strength and friendship, the clan yanked at once, releasing Brambleclaw from Dovewing's grasp and knocking her off of her paws.

Lionblaze undid Brambleclaw's collar and rubbed his neck a little. They all turned towards Dovewing and started stalking towards her.

"Not all of us!" the trees yowled. All of the ThunderClan cats, from kits to elders, walked slowly out of the trees and started stalking to Dovewing. She soon had an army of 200 cats against one of her. Even considering the tremendous difference in strength when all the cats were pitted up against her individually, Dovewing was no match for all of the cats working together to take her down, and she knew it. As the cats slowly closed in on her, she felt tree bark rubbing against her tail. She was going to die. Brambleclaw pinned her down swiftly. He glared down into her icy blue eyes, which looked up at him fearfully. Just as Brambleclaw was about to claw her throat out, a voice called from behind.

"Wait!"

Poppyfrost and Berrynose stepped out from the crowd. "We know of a better way for this traitor to die." Poppyfrost growled.

"A more painful way." Berrynose added with an evil smirk.

They both grabbed Dovewing, who looked like she was just thrown into icy water, and took her over to the big black block from a couple of chapters ago. They tied her to it with the black vines, then quickly tied up Firestar and took the CD out of his fat folds, then put it into the silver thing. Pressing some buttons on the silver thing, Dovewing's fate was soon to be decided to the tune of "We Wish You a Merry Christmas". Sing along if you'd like.

**YEAH FIRESTAR'S REALLY AWESOME X3**

**I DONT CARE IF HE'S FAT!**

**I LIKE TA-ACOS! THEY'RE REALLY YUMMY!**

**I DON'T CARE IF THEY MAKE ME FAT 'CAUSE THEY'RE AWESOME!**

**YEAH FIRESTAR'S REALLY AWESOME X3**

**I DON'T CARE IF HE'S FAT!**

Normally the cats would have had convulsions, but everyone except Dovewing was actually dancing, and some were singing along! It was a joyous moment in ThunderClan, and the crowd roared when Dovewing fell to the ground, like Cherrypaw once did. Ecstatic cats were jumping up and down like they were all hyped up on soda, and the tied up Firestar was sobbing, mourning his lost compantion. But they all knew, IT WAS PARTY TIME!


	10. Epilogue

Later...

ThunderClan camp was hopping. Some cats had gotten hold of two bottles of what twolegs called "soda" and everyone was as hyper as could be. They had also acquired another silver thing, and lots of apprentices were dancing to Gangnam Style. There was a stage that would soon be used for karaoke. Firestar was being used as a trampoline for the kits, and as insult to injury, they all kept putting their foot in his mouth. The elders were dancing with the apprentices, and Mousefur was somehow rapping the Korean lyrics with PSY. And the queens... well; the queens were just lying there and insulting Firestar.

Then, Yellowstar, Willowpelt, Mousefur, Sandstorm, and Brambleclaw all padded onto the stage. Lionblaze tapped the silver thing and the karaoke track for "California Girls" started playing.

**Brambleclaw:**  
Greetings, clanmates!

Let's save some clans!

**Yellowstar:**

I, know a clan!

Where the cats are strong and loyal!

We're backed up, by StarClan

So you're treated like a royal!

Eating, mice and voles;

Laying underneath the oak trees!

Toms, break their necks,

Try'na creep a little sneak peek! (At us!)

You can travel the forest,

But nothing compares to the open air!

Once you're hunting with us,

You'll be falling in love!

Oh, aohaohaoh!

ThunderClan she-cats, we're undefeatable!

Unsheathed claws, we'll rip you to shreds!

Shiny fur, so smooth, just like a kit's bottom!

Ohoah! Oh, oh, oah, oah!

ThunderClan she-cats, we are untamable!

Fun, fierce, fast,

no doubt we're fighters!

StarClan represent, now put your paws up!

Toms, everywhere!

It isn't hard to get a mate here!

We freak, in the camp,

cause Mousefur's famous on the internet, oh oh!

You can travel the forest,

But nothing compares to the open air!

Once you're hunting with us,

You'll be falling in love!

Oh, aohaohaoh!

ThunderClan she-cats, we're undefeatable!

Unsheathed claws, we'll rip you to shreds!

Shiny fur, so smooth, just like a kit's bottom!

Ohoah! Oh, oh, oah, oah!

ThunderClan she-cats, we are untamable!

Fun, fierce, fast,

no doubt we're fighters!

StarClan represent, now put your paws up!

**Brambleclaw:**

Toned, tanned fit and ready,

turn it up 'cos it's gettin' heavy,

crazy forest,

these are the cats I love the best!

I mean the ones,I mean she never fails,

Snuggle, Nuzzle, Squeeze her tail...

The girl's a freak, Yeah, she's a freak,

She never sleeps.

I'm okay I won't play

I love my babe

Just like I love my prey

ShadowClan, WindClan, and RiverClan

The warrior code is everything!

All those toms hangin' out

All those girls hangin' out

Kits and rabbits and spirits

Might be hits

But as luck would have it

Yellow my mate-y

You're lookin'here baby

I'm your number one fan

'Cos you representin' THUNDAHCLAN!

**Yellowstar:**

ThunderClan she-cats, we're undefeatable!

Unsheathed claws, we'll rip you to shreds!

Shiny fur, so smooth, just like a kit's bottom!

Ohoah! Oh, oh, oah, oah!

ThunderClan she-cats, we are untamable!

Fun, fierce, fast,

no doubt we're fighters!

StarClan represent, now put your paws up!

ThunderClan! ThunderClan she-cats!

ThunderClan! ThunderClan she-cats!


End file.
